Disappointment is tough. It can be one of the most difficult emotions to accept and move past. Many things bring about disappointment such as a failed relationship, a child who chooses a different direction than the parent would like, perhaps not being invited to a group or sport team you were hoping for, and one of the largest disappointments is the loss of income and/or livelihood. The latter is something that I am currently dealing with, so yes, I do have firsthand experience.
In the beginning when something doesn’t go our way and we feel disappointment, we may also feel fear, sadness, dejection, depression, loneliness and general hurt. When we focus on these emotions, they will grow. They will become a monster in and of themselves. We will find ourselves in a very dark place if we choose to focus on how bad we feel. When we focus on the disappointment we will bring about more disappointment, more hurt, more suffering.
Now, you may be thinking, “But I’m angry! It is not fair. Why does this always happen to me?” Of course, you are angry and hurt. You didn’t get what you needed or wanted. However, do you want to stay angry, hurt or disappointed? Most people do not. It is not a good time and it is not fun. So, what do we do about it?
Overcoming and Moving Forward
The first thing you need to do is create a plan of action.
Making a plan of action will begin to move you in the right direction. It will take you out of the depressed mindset. You will gain confidence and motivation to see the road ahead instead of being stuck in the moment. In this area, you are changing your mind by changing your actions.
The next thing you need to do is create a gratitude list.
When disappointment happens, and it will happen, make a list of what you are really grateful for, what you appreciate and what you have that is good and valuable to you. This is a huge step in ending the poor me attitude that often accompanies disappointment. Remember, a poor me attitude, will create more of the same circumstances. Some people would argue that when we are handed unwelcome circumstances and disappointment that we need to go through the grieving process (denial and isolation, anger, bargaining, depression, and finally acceptance). Well, I am here to tell you that, NO, you do not have to go through all that negativity! In fact, focusing your attention on those negative emotions will certainly bring about more of them, not less. You cannot focus on anger or depression to get to acceptance. Acceptance is a choice, its not something you walk into randomly after feeding yourself negativity for any amount of time. Again, focusing on anger and depression will only tell the universe and yourself that you want anger and depression and the universe will always grant your wish. You can decide that you want to move to acceptance and move forward! YES! YOU CAN! Instead of trying to create some form of grieving process, look at your gratitude list! Let go of the negativity and look at the positive!
Finally, take the first step.
Put your plan into action. There is nothing more powerful to letting go of a loss than seeing progress toward a gain. You can do it! Believe in yourself; focus on the positive, let go of the negative. This is your choice! No one can make the choice for you. What do you want? See yourself achieving it, Go out there, and get it!
Make it a great day!!
Thank you for taking the time to read my article.
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